Shoresy Chirps

The character of Shoresy is one of the greatest characters in the History of Television, boys. His gloves off, insult-heavy trash talking is legendary. Chirp away.

Shoresy Swag

All Shoresy Quotes

"Hey, give your balls a tug, you tit fucker! (Wingman Wayne)"
"That's the best ass-wash of your life right there, boys. (Wingman Wayne)"
"Best ass wash of your life. (Wingman Wayne)"
"Well, piece of shit ... who brought the fuckin' rocket, boys? (Wingman Wayne)"
"She's a fuckin' rocket. (Wingman Wayne)"
"Hey, dibs on digis, boys. (Wingman Wayne)"
"No, I dibs'd her in warm up, you were throwin' sauce at the blue line. I was dibsing digis. (Wingman Wayne)"
"A dibs is a dibs is a dibs, buddy. Who gives a shit. (Wingman Wayne)"
"Well, fuck yeah, buddy. (Wingman Wayne)"
"Give your balls a tug, you tit fucker! (Wingman Wayne)"
"Hey, give your balls a tug, you tit fucker! (A Fuss in the Back Bush)"
"Well, fuck, boys, I was already down here ripping ass whilst figured I'd rip some reps (A Fuss in the Back Bush)"
"What the fuck are you looking at, tit fucker? (MoDean's II)"
"Give your balls a tug. (MoDean's II)"
"Fuck you, Reilly. Fight me, see what happens. (MoDean's II)"
"Three things, I hit you, you hit the pavement, ambulance hits 60. (MoDean's II)"
"Yeah, it's your mom's favorite chirp, too, buddy. Ask her, see what happens. (MoDean's II)"
"Three things, I hit you, you hit the pavement, I fuck your mom again. (MoDean's II)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy. Your mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I'll put my swim trunks on for her anytime she likes. (MoDean's II)"
"Fuck you, Reilly. Your mom keeps trying to slip a finger in my bum, but I keep telling her I only let Jonesy's mom do that, you fuckin' loser. (MoDean's II)"
"Fuck your entire fuckin' life, you piece of shit. (MoDean's II)"
"Fuck my entire fuckin' life, if you tit fuckers light a match in here, the whole fuckin' barn's going up. Give your balls a tug. (Les Hiques)"
"Fuck you, Reilly. Fight me, see what happens. (Les Hiques)"
"Three things, I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver's side door handle. (Les Hiques)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy. Tell your mom to top up the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late night. (Les Hiques)"
"Gretz is the best player in the history of the show. Give your balls a tug. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Gretz holds or shares 61 records in the show, you piece of shit. Don't nickel and dime the Great One. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Suck my Mr. Cockey, you fuckin' loser. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy. Tell your mom I drained the bank account she setup for me. Top it up so I can get some fuckin' KFC. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy. Your mom loves butt play like I love Haagen-Dazs. Let's get some fuckin' ice cream. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Toilet was backed up so I had to shit in there, too, tit fuckers. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Hey, Reilly, I made a oopsy, can you ask your mom to pick up Jonesy's mom on the way over to my place? I double booked them by mistake, you fuckin' loser. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Look at that fuckin' masterpiece, boys. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Look at those legs go up and make a complete fuckin' ass out of themselves. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Holy fuck, would I love to get sticky with her. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Who brought the fuckin' rocket, boys? (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"But she looks cold. I'll show her my warm front. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Give your balls a tug, you tit. (Bradley Is a Killer)"
"Give your balls a tug, you tit fucker. (Letterkenny Spelling Bee)"
"I'm not helping you tit-fuckers or those twats. Give your balls a tug. (Back to Back to Back)"
"You wanna talk about lines, you fucking loser? I woke up to your mum rippin' dick-dingers off my foreskin, tell her to keep her hands off my scoops. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, I made your mum cum so hard they made a Canadian Heritage Minute out of it and Don McKellar played my dick. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Reilly. I made your mum so wet, Trudeau deployed a 24-hour infantry unit to stack sand bags around my bed. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you both, your lives are so fuckin' pathetic, I ran a charity 15K to raise awareness for it, you fuckin' losers. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Give your balls a tug. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Tit-fuckers. (Back to Back to Back)"
"You two are the silliest twats I've ever met in my whole fuckin' life. I didn't say any of that shit, you dumb broads. (Back to Back to Back)"
"But I did say your breath could stop a Mack Truck, Betty-Anne, I'll tell that to anyone who will listen. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Betty-Anne, your breath is an existential crisis, made me question my whole fuckin' life. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Mary-Anne, you got legs on you like redwoods, you could box-jump a bungalow. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, your mum groped me two Halloweens ago, shut the fuck up or I'll take it to Twitter. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, take a look at me, I'm not even a ref, I'm a fuckin' linesman, but you can referee my nuts, you piece of shit. (Back to Back to Back)"
"I'd still smash you both if I was bored, but Reilly and Jonesy's mums get too jealous. Make yourselves useful, grab me a bag of dill picklers. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Good luck, you fuckin' losers. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Hurry up and score a fuckin' goal already, I'm getting the bedtime sillies. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, tell your mum to give me a time-out. The last time I tried that, she threatened to take a header on me into an empty pool at the Quality Suites. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, tell your mum to leave me alone, she's been laying in my fuckin' water bed since Labor Day. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck you all, your lives are so sad, I get a charity tax break just for hanging out with you. Nice sweep, no sweep, give your balls a tug. (Back to Back to Back)"
"Fuck, you could cut the sexual tension over there with a knife. Give your balls a tug, tit-fucker. (Bush Party Season)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, go scoop it off your mom's bedroom floor for me. She gives my nipples butterfly kisses. (Bush Party Season)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom shot cum straight across the room and killed my Siamese Fighting Fish. Threw off the pH levels in my aquarium, you piece of shit. (Bush Party Season)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, should have heard your mom last night, she sounded like a window closing on a Tonkinese cat's tail. Sounded like, 'Ah ...' (Bush Party Season)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, should have heard your mom last night, she sounded like my Great Aunt when I pull a surprise visit. Sounded like, 'Oh ...' (Bush Party Season)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, your mom sneaky gushed so hard, she bucked me off the waterbed last night. Don't tell her I was thinking about Jonesy's mom the whole time! (Bush Party Season)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom ugly cried 'cause she left the lens cap on the camcorder last night. It's fuckin' amateur hour over there. (Bush Party Season)"
"Wheover did that, that's fuckin' Timbits hockey. That's Saturday Morning tyke skills camp. (Bush Party Season)"
"Hey, nice butt. Let's get some fuckin' bubble tea! (Bush Party Season)"
"Ariana Grande looks like she's eight, tit-fucker. I'm giving the pre-school your plate numbers. (The City)"
"And Gretz's daughter's a married woman, your classless piece of shit. She wouldn't fuck you if you had Mario's dangles and Messier's dick. (The City)"
"If Terry Fox ran 143 days he smashed 143 broads and that's probably fuckin' light. (The City)"
"He'd be boatin' with Kylie Minogue. Let's get some fuckin' gyozas. (The City)"
"Will you two just man up and make out? I started an office pool for it and the day I picked was tomorrow. Get tuggin', tit-fuckers. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom pulled the goalie on me and now she's preggo. Surprise, son. Go rake the fuckin' yard. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, I slipped one past your mom, too. Her preggo farts smell like hot dog water. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom's in her first trimester and already bitching about baby brain. Hard to tell her she's been dumber than Reilly's mom since the genesis. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, I talked your mom into a three-way with our midwife and she gassed us both out of the room. I'm fucking humiliated. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom wants to name the baby after the place it was conceived. Can't wait to meet Martha's Vineyard Shore. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, your mom wants the same thing. How do I shorten down 'Handicapped Bathroom at Cheesecake Factory in Boca Raton'? (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Nice fuckin' bird cage. At the end of the day, what are you really protecting? (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Great day for competitive men's hockey, eh. What's women's hockey like? Same thing, less competitive or what? (W's Talk, Baby)"
"First puck of the campaign, boys. Fuckin' get involved! (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Hey, you look like that braod from The Hunger Games. I'm gonna call you Cuteness Everdeen. You like edamame? (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Short shifts, Cuteness. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"You skate like a fuckin' girl, birdcage. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"No you're not. Are you really? Holy fuck. (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Hey, what's your favorite kind of pizza, cuteness? Mine's pizza ass. Short shifts ... (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Good shift, cuteness. Oh! We should change our Facebook status to 'It's complicated.' (W's Talk, Baby)"
"Give your fucking balls a tug. (In It To Win It)"
"Tit fucker. (In It To Win It)"
"I would smash Susan Aglukark fuckin' yesterday. (In It To Win It)"
"34, what's one plus one, you big dumb fuck? (In It To Win It)"
"Spell 'puck', you dumb fucking asshole. (In It To Win It)"
"We fucking going? (In It To Win It)"
"You fucking chicken shit. (In It To Win It)"
"Nice work. Celly fuckin' harder. You're the pride of your community. (In It To Win It)"
"Are you even fucking trying? You can try, eh. You can try. (In It To Win It)"
"Hey, you're hammered them, eh? Holy fuck, we could light you're fuckin' breath on fire. (In It To Win It)"
"Fight him, fight him. Give him one. Give him one. Give it to him. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Huh? What are you gonna fucking do? (In It To Win It)"
"See, that's the worst player on our team. You got one fucking job. You're fucking awful. (In It To Win It)"
"Holy fuck. (In It To Win It)"
"You fucking suck. You're so fucking bad! You're fucking terrible. (In It To Win It)"
"Hey Scholtzy, when's your day with the cup? You taking it to a fuckin' powwow, or what? (In It To Win It)"
"You're a first place club beating a team that's been together a week. (In It To Win It)"
"Hey, hey, can I grab your address? A little note in the mail to remind you of how fuckin' useless you are. (In It To Win It)"
"Can I grab your email? Oh, I'll just get it from your mom. (In It To Win It)"
"Wait ... are you goin' him? Are you going him or are you going me? (In It To Win It)"
"It's meal time. You ever thought about, just like, maybe skippin' a fuckin' meal or two, or ...? (In It To Win It)"
"Someone stole my breakfast sando, looks like it was you. (In It To Win It)"
"Can you even fuckin' crossover, you big, fat fuck? (In It To Win It)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy. (Miss Fire)"
"Northwest terribles. (Miss Fire)"
"You're making a fool of yourself, you fucking labradoodle. (Miss Fire)"
"Jonesy, you are such a fucking puggle. (Miss Fire)"
"Where is Bobby Margarita? (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, you wanna talk about teamwork, Jonesy? I took your mom to Medieval Times and me and the Green Knight took her down after at Best Western. (Miss Fire)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, I took your mom the next weekend. Me and the Blue Knight showed her a real sword fight. (Miss Fire)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom got us banned from Canada's Wonderland for trying to give me a tug on Top Gun. (Miss Fire)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, took your mom the weekend before and she asked me to diddle her on Drop Tower. (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, smile for the camera you fucking loser. (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, this one's a video, you piece of shit. (Miss Fire)"
"Do you fire up some of that Jamaican Broccoli between periods or what? (Miss Fire)"
"Throw on some fucking Bob Marley, get pumped up? (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, you wanna blaze? (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, you wanna blaze one? (Miss Fire)"
"Go bottle toke some bubble hash, ya fucking loser. (Miss Fire)"
"Thirty-two, hook me up with a quarter pound? (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, hook me up with a QP? (Miss Fire)"
"Wanna hit some resin tokes? (Miss Fire)"
"How 'bout some of that Pakalolo Dank? (Miss Fire)"
"Edibles, edibles, edibles. Edibles, edibles, edibles. (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, who's got a Reggae Cigarette? (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, let's smoke a jazzy. (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, wanna smoke a bowl? (Miss Fire)"
"Hey, smoke a blunt? (Miss Fire)"
"Pass the Dutchy. (Miss Fire)"
"I got a couple pre-rolls in my pants. Let's party! (Miss Fire)"
"Two of my top five all-time bloweys came from Newfie broads, but if I have to listen to you two separatist sympathizers for one more second, I'll shoot myself in the face. (Miss Fire)"
"You bet I wheeled Natalie Spooner in 2010. (Miss Fire)"
"Fuckin' throw on some smoked meat, Frankie, I'm gonna be in your kitchen all night. (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Frankie, get the mozza burger out of your mouth, you fuckin' fatso. (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Go have another Big Mac, you fuckin' hippo. (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Holy fuck, Frankie, you look like you love a good slice. (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Did you get axed from the show and just start hammering slices or what? (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"If the Cup was a slice, you think you'd work a little harder, you fuckin' pizza face? (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Hey, go eat some fondue, you fuckin' manatee! (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"And have another Baconator, you fuckin' walrus! (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Fuck you! (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"I'll send you stuffed crust to the emergency room, you fat fuckin' pig. (National Senior Hockey Championship)"
"Give your balls a tug. (King of Suckers)"
"Your sweeties hopped into my truck like a couple homeless derelicts jumping a train. I'm supposed to be honey-dicking your moms right now, you fuckin' losers. (King of Suckers)"
"A broad-ski I used to wheel in Junior works there now. She told me your tests came back white as snow, so I gave her my DNA. (King of Suckers)"
"No, I fucked her. (King of Suckers)"
"A Native I'm wheeling spit in your cups. (King of Suckers)"
"They don't ask how, they ask how many. (King of Suckers)"
"Where's your purse? You sound like a fuckin' broad. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, tell your mom to trim her toenails, she carves up my thighs when she gets bucking. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, tell your mom to trim her fingernails, Reilly's mom's getting suspicious about my war wounds. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, your mom asked me to pull her hair and then hit me up for a hundo when her extensions came out. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom asked me to choke her and seriously, not even that could shut her up. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, your mom wanted 11th hour anal and lied when I asked if the chamber was empty. It's one step forward, two steps back in this relationship. I'm fuckin' sick of it. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom says she's tense with anxiety. Can you talk to her for me? She's gripping my weiner way too hard. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Reilly, I walked in on your mom watchin' porn and she tried to cover it up worse than she tried to cover up your old man. (King of Suckers)"
"Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom wanted to watch porn and went straight for BDSM with complete disregard for how triggering that is for anyone who's been ball-gagged in their sleep by Reilly's mom. (King of Suckers)"
"Looks like you answered the Taco Bell, Frankie, one too many times. Why don't you fuckin' save some for the rest of us, you fuckin' garburator? (VidVok)"
"Eh, more like, John-Joke Francois Joke-John fuckin' Jabba the Pizza Hut. (VidVok)"
"Fuck you, Frankie. I told them to put a bear trap over by the dumpster to keep you from rummaging around in there. Go back into the bush and eat some berries like you're supposed to. (VidVok)"
"You're fuckin' Winnie the Pooh, bud, go put some honey in your tummy. (VidVok)"
"Jesus Christ, take Christopher Robin with you, you fucking loser. (VidVok)"
"Go back to the fuckin' dessert bar, you fucking Treatza Pizza face. (VidVok)"
"Jesus Christ, Frankie, you've eaten 20 boxes of apple fritters since I saw you last. Mix in a cinnamon twist, you fuckin' sumo. (VidVok)"
"Hey, what's the matter, Frankie? (VidVok)"
"Hey, no secrets between besties. (VidVok)"
"What, did you just remember it's fucking 2 for 1 dip cones at DQ, you fucking hippo? (VidVok)"
"Ah, oui, Frankie, continue comme ca. (VidVok)"
"Enjoy that 20 pack of 'chickie nuggles', you fuckin' loser. (VidVok)"
"Brought three with you this time eh, you fat fuck? (VidVok)"
"Jesus Christ, Frank, you've eaten so many honey glazed doughnuts, you're starting to fuckin' look like one. (VidVok)"
"They should call you Jean-Jacques Francois Jelly-Doughnut. (VidVok)"
"Fucking Jean-Jacques Extra Frosting Jacques-Jean. (VidVok)"
"JJ Fritter JJ. (VidVok)"
"Fuckin' finish chewing your honey cruller before you speak, Frank. You're making a fuckin' fool of yourself. (VidVok)"
"Well, I know what's behind ya. (VidVok)"
"Let's get some fuckin' sushi maki! (Sundays are for Picking Stones)"